i am awkward, and I like to watch tv

Crazy Jesus People

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Last semester I was walking by the EUC and the library when I heard great deal of shouting, and I being overtaken by curiosity decided to seek out its origin. What I discovered was a man dressed in muted colors with a dress shirt fully buttoned standing on a step ladder and shout at random students passing by. He claimed that everyone on campus was going to hell, due to sexual misconduct. A girl came by wearing skirt and the gentleman insisted that her skirt was going to cause someone to go to hell, and in all likelihood was going to hell herself. He went on to say that the real problem is the ‘so-whore-ity girls'(this was by no means the best pun that I have ever heard but I applauded his creativity nonetheless), whom he claimed were worse than prostitutes as prostitutes were at least smart enough to get paid for all the random sex that they have. He went on say that the girls, at The University Of North Carolina, could easily pay for their tuititon if they would simply charge for the all the sex that they are currently having.

Unfortunately I was unable to hear the rest of his discourse as I had already exhausted all of my absences and was unable to skip class that day. I communicated what had happened to one of my classmates what had happened near the EUC, and lamented that I was unable to continue to watch. Once class was over headed back to where the man was and by this time the atmosphere had changed dramatically.

When returned to the scene I came back to find a new guy dressed in a similar fashion as the previous man standing on the step ladder only now there was a crowd of about fifty people gathered around him shouting back at him as he proceeded to tell them that the were on a path to hell. Amongst the crowd of students shouting over the man and refuting his claims that they were going to hell, were various members of campus ministries who were passing out popsicles and claiming that he was not part of their ministry.

Things became a little more interesting as the man began to insist that the campus was especially sinful as there were a significant number of homosexuals who attend the University of North Caroling at Greensboro. As he continued his anti homosexual discourse a group men wearing make up and tights came and began passing out fliers for a trans-gender homecoming party. As more and more people came out to yell out at them I became concerned that the popsicles would soon run out.

At this point police officers were needed to keep the excited students from getting too close to the gentleman. To avoid being caught up in the fray I decided to stay off to the side where the first gentleman was standing with his wife near a blanket covered with tracts about how to avoid going to hell. My classmate Hunter came along and began to talk to the gentleman, who told hunter that he could have anything on the blanket. Hunter took that quite literally and picked up the gentleman’s water bottle, once the gentleman caught up with Hunter and his water bottle he clarrifed that he meant he could have ANY TRACTS on the blanket that he wanted. Hunter proceeded to take all the tracts claiming that he has a lot of sinful roommates. Unfortunately my bus arrived and I never had the opportunity to see if shout insults at people could convince someone to follow the Lord.

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Written by rolandtrotter

April 5, 2010 at 10:43 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged with , ,

One Response

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  1. I wrote a poem about this last semester. I think we may have seen this guy on the same day on the way to poetry class.

    Kathryn

    May 4, 2010 at 5:31 am


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